Through the Glass
by SunshineGirl99
Summary: Peter can only sit and watch as his mentor falls apart, and know that it's because of him. Oneshot.


IMPORTANT

_Hello, and welcome to my new story _Through the Glass_! I would first like to point out that in this story _Avengers: Infinity War_ never happened, and so anything that has to do with that movie does not pertain to what you'll be reading. Second of all, I'd like to say that I've only just started high school and so your feedback does mean a lot to me!_

_I don't own any part of the Avengers franchise._

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_"Damn it Tony!"_

Peter looks up from his spot on the floor as yet another of his childhood heroes leaves his mentor's lab. Clint brushes past him, but Peter doesn't move. He watches as the archer slams a palm against the railing in frustration before heading up the stairs.

Peter hangs his head as the burning in his eyes increases. He knows this is his fault. His hands tug at a thread that loosely hangs from a hole in the knee of his jeans. He was the one that made the mistake, and now he has to watch as the Avenger's team falls apart. He rubs his eyes desperately. _Spiderman doesn't cry_, he tells himself.

There's a loud crash, and then a curse from behind him, but he doesn't turn around. He knows it's Tony, but he can't bear to once again see what his mentor's become. He can still picture the wild look in his eyes; the defeated walk that no man should have. He knows the hands are numb and stiff, and that Tony's mind is slowly being driven to it's limits.

How could it have gone this far? He wonders. How could the team have _let_ themselves fall this far? Footsteps lightly pound the stairs as yet another person comes to beg Tony to come out. To go to the funeral. To eat something. He assumes it's Pepper, again. He waits for her silently and raises his head to look at her as she passes him. She doesn't look back.

Peter knows she can't.

The glass doors swing open and than shut with a soft click. Peter doesn't strain his ears like last time. He doesn't need too. Pepper's voice isn't loud, but commanding. He listens as she begs. He can almost see her grabbing Tony's arm and tugging it toward the door. He knows Tony won't move.

"He wouldn't want this Tony. Please."

Peter closes his eyes. The words hit him in the chest and nearly steal his breath away. Pepper's right, and he knows that Tony knows it. He can hear the soft refusal that his mentor whispers, and that possibly hurts more than anything else he's seen in the past few days. The words flow brokenly out and into the hallway where he sits.

He curses himself. Curses his role as Queens' friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. He saves the city from everything, including themselves, but at what cost?

A crumpled slip of paper rests in his pocket and he pulls it out. The sound isn't heard as he smooths out its wrinkles. He rereads the typed sentences that he's already read hundreds of times. The words that started it all.

_Spiders are easily killed, Peter. I suggest you watch your back._

It isn't hard to register that it's a threat, but somehow he managed not to. Peter remembers the day he received it. The morning that he found it slipped in the mail and sitting harmlessly on the kitchen table. May had been too busy to notice it, and he'd been too distracted to really look into it. He told himself that he'd talk to Tony after school that day about it.

He'd forgotten that the Decathlon team was supposed to meet that day after class. He'd stayed, and then gone home. He'd forgotten about the note. The next day Ned had shown up with bruises on his face. Peter would never forgive himself for that. He'd gotten another note that evening.

_You're friend is terribly clumsy, Peter. He should be more careful._

He'd called Tony, terrified, but couldn't reach him. That night despite the danger he'd refused to ignore his patrol duties. The town had seemed especially filled with crime. He'd let the police take care of some of it until he'd heard a scream that sounded strangely like MJ.

She'd been pinned against a wall in an alley way with a knife to her neck when he'd gotten there. "MJ!" He'd foolishly screamed as the knife drew threateningly closer to her. Her wide fearful eyes had successfully absorbed most of his attention when he'd felt the prick. The needle had already disappeared as he spun around.

"I told you to watch your back." Someone had said. Consciousness had faded quickly as he begged Karen to do something. He'd heard MJ call his name and remembered hoping that nothing happened to her.

He knows that he'd heard gunshots and the clang of metal, and seen the red and blue coloring of Steve's uniform before darkness had settled in.

The sharp clicks of Pepper's heels shatter his reverie. Peter looks up and stands to follow her as she leaves the lab. He can see that her eyes are red and that she's barely holding her emotions together. His heart breaks even more. Pepper has always been there for him. He knows that she didn't deserve to be dragged into his mess. It's with admiration that he watches her finger the ring on her left hand, draw in a shaky breath and ascend the stairs with her head still held high.

In the end, he decides against following because he sees Bruce making his way towards him. The doctor only stops once to share a few words with Pepper before continuing to his destination. Peter tilts his head almost inquisitively as he watches the man enter the lab. He doesn't turn to see Tony's face, but can see Bruce from the corner of his eye.

He quietly applauds Bruce for taking the tool Tony is using and casting it to the side. If anything he knows that Bruce's quiet logic will give Tony something to seriously consider when he's gone. The two remain in the lab for ten minutes before Bruce awkwardly slides the tool back towards Tony and leaves. Peter observes him silently as he walks away, and isn't surprised to see a deep tiredness in his eyes.

He wonders who will be next, and wonders if they might be the one to finally reach the side Tony's given up on. He's sure that there's at least one more person that will try to reach out to him. Sure enough, the next person to round the corner is the one Peter's been hoping for. The one that he's sure Tony will listen to. Steve steps through the glass doors determinedly and steps up to Tony's side.

Peter forces himself to watch this conversation and turns to fully face them. His heart sinks slightly as his mentor's shoulders stiffen at the new voice. Steve plows on with his words and Peter can't help but believe them. It's just minutes into the conversation that Tony starts arguing. Peter cringes as Steve loses some of his earlier momentum. Come on. He pleads quietly.

"You know he wouldn't want this, Tony." Peter feels his heart sink as Steve unknowingly repeats Pepper's words. He mentally prepares himself to fully see Tony's face as he whirls around, but even he couldn't have foreseen the complete devastation his mentor's eyes hold.

"No." He says loudly. "You knew him for like what, months?" Steve takes a step back at the pure ferocity of the words. "You don't get to say what he would've wanted. Not after you're the reason why he's not here." Even Peter is taken aback by that one.

"Tony, I- I tried. You know I did." Steve stumbles over his words for a response.

"Well obviously not enough." Tony takes a step forward and jabs a finger at Steve. "He's dead." Peter watches as the words seem to make Tony deflate. "He's dead." Steve gazes at him with his eyes wide. "I-_I _failed him, Cap." Peter watches in unrestrained horror as Tony hurls a screwdriver across the room.

"Tony, it's not...you didn't-"

"But I did." Tony whispers. His eyes squeeze shut as if he's trying to stop an image from forming in his mind. Steve takes a step forward and then backwards. "Don't." Tony warns as a hand cautiously reaches towards his shoulder. "Just leave."

"Tony, please. Let me help." Steve pleads.

"Leave." Tony stands and marches Steve towards the door. Peter steps to the side as Steve passes him and hangs his head. He senses rather than sees Tony resume his place in front of a lab table. When he turns around it's with a heavy heart that he sees his mentor with his head in his hands. Regret squeezes his chest like a vice.

He swallows against the lump that rises in his throat._ Don't Peter. Not now. _He begs.

The sound of sneakers against the stairs causes him to turn around. May stands in front of him, and Peter forces himself not to reach out to her as her stance wavers. She throws open the lab doors as she enters, and Peter watches as Tony lifts his head in shock and straightens.

"May." he greets. Peter knows what's coming and wishes he could stop it as his aunt steps closer.

"How could you?" She starts. Peter winces as tears start to slip down her face. "I trusted you! I let you mentor him! I thought you of all people would understand that he needed to be protected!" She runs a hand through her already unkempt hair. "Why, Tony? How? He didn't deserve this!"

Peter watches in anguish as Tony sits silently through it all. His gaze bores into hers, and Peter knows that it's because he thinks he deserves what she's giving him. When May finally stops and sags forward, exhausted, Tony doesn't hesitate to catch her. His hands rest lightly on her shoulders as he holds her upright. Peter is grateful, if not slightly taken aback by his mentor's actions.

She begins to sob, and Tony flinches. "I'm sorry." He says softly. And Peter knows that he is. May covers her face with her hands as she cries, and Peter feels his stomach drop. He longs to fix everything, and tell her everything is okay, but he can't.

"First Ben," May murmurs, "and now, him. Who's next? Me?" Peter grimaces at the mention of his uncle, and his self hatred grows. May's never left his side, and is suffering because of his own decisions. He feels himself lose his grip on his own emotions. "He was just a child Tony!" May laments. "Why did it have to be him?"

It's the way she finally whispers his name that breaks Peter. Suddenly he's on the floor and tears are flowing freely down his face. He pounds on the glass with his palms, and begs them to look at him. "Please, May! Mr. Stark!" They don't hear him. They can't, and they never will.

He's dead.

His hands curl into fists as they hit the floor. He brings his knees up to his chest and lays his head in his arms as he cries._ It's your fault!_, his mind screams. Peter can only answer by crying harder, because he knows it's true. May's sobs mingle with his own, and he quietly begs for her forgiveness.

"I'm sorry." He chokes out. "I'm so sorry."

* * *

_Please tell me how I've done before you leave. It would be greatly appreciated. _


End file.
